Attaching emotion to thought
In the first chapter of Byron Katie’s book, “Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life”, she explains that thoughts alone do not cause us pain, it’s the attachment to thoughts that result in negative emotion and unhappiness. In her own words,
“A thought is harmless unless we believe it. It’s not our thoughts but the attachment to our thoughts, that causes suffering. Attaching to a thought means believing it’s true, without inquiring. A belief is a thought that we’ve been attaching to, often for years.”
Chapter 1, Page 5
When I first read this I really didn’t understand it. But after last nights events, I think I get it. A rare occasion last night, a night away from my boys, shacked up in a London hotel. Fantastic to have me time and on top of that, I spent the evening with my gorgeous girlfriends, a home cooked dinner and bubbly. What more could one want?!
Change unhealthy beliefs with 4 questions
A friend and I were rambling about the connection between our thoughts and feelings and how our beliefs drive our emotions, rather than the other way around. But our conversation came to a screeching holt when we asked ourselves what the best way is to eradicate unwanted thoughts. Not only that, but is it actually possible?
Once a thought enters our mind and etches its way into our belief systems, can it subsequently be removed? Is it as simple as replacing a self-limiting thought with a more positive one? Or at the very minimum, can it be changed?
In one of my very first sessions with my fabulous Life Coach (Suzy Greaves - www.thebig-leap.com), Suzy identified that my selfbelief that ‘I am fat’ is holding me back in all areas of my life. I truly believed that I would never be happy until I lost weight and looked like the gym instructor that I so admire. In response to this, she introduced me to Byron Katie and The Work. The Work is a process of inquiry whereby you identify and challenge negative thoughts.
The Work consists of four questions:
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Style Secrets to ensure you FEEL fabulous!
Another BodyBoffin interview has arrived!
I had a fantastic discussion with an amazing personal brand coach and image consultant - Pippa Rees - all about the link between what we wear and how we feel. Most excitingly, Pippa shares her top style secrets to help us make the most of our gorgeous bodies, no matter what the size or shape, and help us feel as fabulous as we look!
Pippa Rees - a Personal Brand Coach and Image Consultant - is the founder of Style Company (www.stylecompany.com), a corporate training and image consultancy.
Pippa has worked with a huge range of major corporate companies and even resides on the board of the Federation of Image Consultants.
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If you have any problems with the above audio player, please download the interview (mp3) here: Pippa Rees Interview.
A big thank you to Pippa for sharing her knowledge with the BodyBoffin team. Enjoy!
Note: the above picture has been copied from www.stylecompany.com
BodyBoffin.com goes Live!
A fantastic, exciting day! BodyBoffin.com is now live, accessible to all.
I had a HUGE response to my original Wordpress blog and as such, I’ve now established the BodyBoffin website. Fully committed to tracking down all the amazing BodyBoffins out there in order to find ways to improve our body image and break down barriers to feeling fabulous.
A very big thank you to my amazing website team… designer Natasha Longworth and the development team at Annatto Design. They’ve gone out of their way (and beyond what I’ve paid for!) to ensure the site is fabulous. Thank you!
Two Steps Forward, One HUGE Step Backward…
I dropped to an all time low last week, hence no blogging for me. Not only did my train de-rail, the protective lining that holds the train together cracked and tore wide open. The train being me on my journey that is, not literally!
I’ve been super focused on listening to my Inner Dialogue and understanding why I feel so damn negative about my body. And you know, I really have learnt a lot about myself. Absolutely amazing stuff too!
By listening in on my thoughts I’ve become more aware of what I’m thinking and the different sub-personalities that are feeding my thoughts. My thoughts are under the control of my Wild Child and Inner Critic, without a doubt. Two months ago I would have laughed hysterically at anyone who said that about themselves and brushed it off as absolute nonsense! But somehow it’s all starting to make sense.
What do you dream of?
I enjoyed my Saturday with a pregnant friend and her sister yesterday. Sitting outside in their fab garden we were talking about weightloss after having a baby. Being her third child she’s worried about not being able to lose the baby weight. We got onto the subject of breastfeeding and whether we thought it helped. I believe it did help me lose the extra weight I’d put on during pregnancy (a whopping 20kg!!). My mate commented how fabulous I’m looking and that I’m the smallest she’s ever known me to be.
Who’s pulling your strings??
Until reading The Weight Less Mind (by Georgia Foster), I hadn’t even considered that my thoughts were being controlled by numerous personalities. Like puppeteers, the different selves sit up all high and mighty, pushing their opinions into my thoughts through their chit chat.
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Is your Inner Dialogue holding you back?
If you passed a stranger in the street chatting away to themselves you’d think they were ‘not quite right’. Well, I would!
But what about the internal chit chat that’s going on in all our minds? Other people are not privy to our inner conversations and thank goodness for that! Well, unless by some obscure mind reading ability.
Georgia Foster, in her book The Weight Less Mind, defines this internal chit chat as our ”Inner Dialogue”. What’s really interesting is that this Inner Dialogue consists of numerous voices, each representing a sub-personality or part. This is known as the Psychology of Selves. The different sub-personalities develop unconsciously during childhood with their main aim being to protect us. As babies we’re completely vulnerable. Our core selves build within the first few months and years, controlling our behaviour in order to deal with all that comes our way.
The Power of the Scales…
I was feeling pretty good yesterday. I’d been to the gym the night before, managed to actually eat when I felt hungry (rather than gorging all food in sight) and even my toddler was in good spirits. Glorious!
Until late afternoon that is, when it all came crashing down.
That morning my 16 month old had been playing with the scales whilst I got ready. Silly me hadn’t put the scales away and when I went up to the loo later that afternoon there they sat. Calling to me… “Go on, weigh yourself. You’re feeling pretty great. It’s been ages and who knows, maybe you’ll get a pleasant surprise”.
Do you smile when you look in the mirror?
The July 2008 Psychologies Magazine includes a supplement called “Get Body Confident”. It includes 100 “techniques, ideas and inspirations” aimed at helping us smile when we look in the mirror.
Interestingly, the Editor - Maureen Rice - talks about our emotions (such as the way we feel about our bodies), affecting our thoughts. This is quite different to the Martha Beck model discussed in a previous blog about our thoughts being the root cause of all behaviour. However, Maureen explains that the chain of cause and effect works in both directions. I.e. Our emotions affect our thoughts, which affect our actions, which affect our emotions and so on. A cycle that as we know, once on is hard to get off!
